like tom petty said

We’re only on month two of this journey, but as the song goes…the waiting is the hardest part.  I’ve been on birth control for ten years. First Depo Provera, then Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo. My cycle regulation since going off has been…interesting.

First cycle off: 41 days
Second cycle off: 29 days
Third cycle: 21 days and counting (will it be early? late? not at all?)

I’ve noticed during this cycle that the hardest wait for me is the second half of the cycle, the part where I know I COULD be preggers. The first two weeks felt carefree, lighthearted, and fun. Now I find myself this week trying to fill my time (dance class last night, dance class tonight, workout class tomorrow, dinner with a friend on Thursday) trying to catapult myself as quickly and happily as possible into next week…into a period….or maybe not.

The weirdest part is not knowing my body and what the way I feel means. I actually feel like I’m about to get my period. Is it coming early? Did we totally miss my ovulation window thinking my cycle would be about the same length as last month when it will really be shorter?

But like I told hubby this morning, maybe what I’m feeling is just the need to go to the bathroom.

TMI, huh?


no honduran magic

Well, I took a pregnancy test this morning, even though it’s only day 27 and I know it’s too early and otherwise was unlikely this first cycle anyway, and yeah, got a negative.

It’s okay, it’s not like I:

  • dreamed three separate dreams last night about taking a pregnancy test
  • kept waking up when it was still dark out and convincing myself over and over to go back to sleep
  • woke up at first light (earlier than usual) stretched “sleepily” for a few minutes, and then got up to take the test only after hubby (truly sleepily) woke up too and suggested I go for it like we had talked about the night before
  • was having phantom pregnancy symptoms yesterday
  • have no idea what’s going on with my body, like — are the mild cramping feelings I’m having a) impending ovulation b) impending period or c) none of the above?

Maybe I haven’t ovulated yet. Maybe it’s still on its way and my cycle is running long, like last month. I can’t say I am not disappointed, because that would be an obvious lie. I will say:

Chin up, chin up
Put a little laughter in your eyes
Brave it, save it
Even though you’re feeling otherwise
Rise up, wise up
Make a little smile begin
You’ll be happy hearted
Once you get it started
Up with your chinny chin chin!

I just can’t help loving this animated classic and it does make me smile and feel like putting my chin up. If you’re feeling really ambitious (or need to put your chinny chin chin up for one reason or another too,) watch the song from the 1973 movie here.

Charlotte's Web

Charlotte's Web

what a week

Like I mentioned earlier this week, work has just gotten crazy. We’ve won a lot of new business, which is obviously great for the company, but it’s almost to the point that two people can’t do the work anymore. The head of our region told my boss and I that “We should hire a third marketing person before the two of [us] die.” Yes, yes — that would be nice.

I’m also having laptop issues at home. I turn my laptop on and it shows the startup menu and then three-fourths of the time just sits and stares at me with a blank, black screen. I have to reboot to get it to even start up. Wrut wroh. Possibly not much life left on this one, Dell! I’m not a Dell fan, and in fact would much rather ditch my PC all together and get a Mac, but we use PCs at work and I like to have my Adobe programs on my computer at home too (InDesign, Photoshop, Dreamweaver, etc.)

Anywhoooo….those are my excuses. Here’s what’s really been going down this week.

Hubby and I continue to try regularly, as I have no clue when I’m going to be ovulating or did ovulate, if indeed it has happened. (Last cycle it was day 28!) We are now on day 26 and I have no clue if I’ve ovulated or not, if I am anywhere near my period or a possible positive test, or what. It’s kind of frustrating having no clue what’s going on with my body, but I’m sure my cycle will regulate itself soon enough. In the meantime, trying regularly has been enough for us. Now I’m just dying to take a pregnancy test, but I’m sure it ‘s too soon.

I’ve been having strange dreams about pregnancy. The other night I dreamed I took a test and thought it read “Pregnant” until I tilted it in the other direction and noticed the word “Not” in front of that. Oops! Then I had a dream that I was fostering eight rambunctious and wild children from the ages of 2 to probably 16. (One thing I haven’t told you yet, I don’t think, is that hubby and I will eventually want to adopt children too. But that’s more for another day.)

Obviously babies are on the brain. And then yesterday, the woman who works in our building and also cleans our place every couple weeks ran into me on the elevator and asked, “Are you pregnant?” I immediately said, “no, no,” and self consciously put my hand on my stomach, wondering if my recent lack of dedicated workouts is beginning to show.

“Do I look like it?” I said.

“Oh, no, no,” she said, and got off at her stop.

I’m wondering if perhaps she’s noticed the half dozen or so books I’ve collected on the topic while cleaning our place, but I keep them hidden behind others in my basket of books by the bed. I’d like to think instead that perhaps she has some Honduran magic going on and just knows. Now wouldn’t that be neat?

lube me up, scotty

As hubby and I begin to try to conceive this month (oh, and guess what, friends? my first period after ending birth control ended today! hurrah!) we are not putting too much stock into the “rules” of it all. Rules like:

Don’t have sex more than every 24 hours.

Put your hips up for five minutes after sex. (Or even funnier, do handstands after doing the deed.)

Don’t do any long-distance cycling.

Time out here. My cyclist hubby would love that one.

Thankfully doc said some most common constraints you might read about online or hear from others when researching how to help conceive are most often useful for those who are having a hard time conceiving after say six to eight months. She did suggest loose underwear for hubby, but other than that in this early stage of trying it’s most important to just be healthy and have fun! So for now, if hubby wants to hop on a bike and ride 25+ miles around the city, he should feel free to spandex it up.

However one thing hubby and I heard that we aren’t taking any chances on is that most common lubricants are not sperm-friendly and can kill the little guys before they have a chance to swim upstream. In fact, your own natural lubrication is also acidic to sperm except during ovulation, and saliva can also impair the fellas. I have heard that only a bit of water or certain sperm-friendly lubricants are good to use while trying to conceive. Of course good old fashioned foreplay is also recommended by most sites discussing the issue.

I found a sperm-friendly lubricant called Pre-Seed online and ordered some several weeks ago. They have a couple options on their website, but the kind I ordered comes with applicators so the lubricant is actually applied intra-vaginally. Some evidence has shown that not only is Pre-Seed not harmful to the little swimmers, but that it also helps conduct them up to the fallopian tubes. Now I’m not sure about that, but I suppose any potential help doesn’t hurt! Although I haven’t yet tried the applicators, I have felt the product and it has a natural feel to it. Another benefit is that you can put the product into the applicator tube up to 15 minutes or so before applying.


“Wait a minute, honey, let me get the lube into the applicator syringe!” might be an instant mood killer, so that’s good to know.

If you have had any experience with this or any other lubricant while trying to conceive, feel free to share your thoughts or opinions! As far as hubby and I are concerned, it’s finally time for us to actually start trying to conceive. I’m excited and…honestly, nervous. Here goes nothin’!

the science of conception (and why we aren’t being too scientific)

Obviously a lot of science goes into making a baby, but hubby and I have decided not to overthink it too much. We do know the basics.

I know that on average a woman will ovulate a couple weeks after her cycle begins (with the first day of a cycle being the first day you get your period.) However this time of ovulation can vary greatly from person to person depending on the length of your cycle and many other factors.

What hubby and I have decided to do is to be intimate with each other on a regular basis and not put too much thought into it. We’ve decided tracking my ovulation at this point, when we are just beginning this journey of conception and my doctor has not foreseen any problems, may run the risk of turning this joyous and miraculous act into a chore…and that would be quite a shame.

But the science of it all is incredibly interesting, and this morning I just found some of the most amazing pictures of the process (on a cellular level, of course — hee hee) I have seen. Check out WebMD‘s conception slideshow called “From Egg to Embryo.” I find it pretty amazing that this is where we all come from!


Image from WebMD's conception slideshow, "From Egg to Embryo"

conception topics

Hi, friends. We’ve been busy this weekend. Hubby and I volunteered with some refugee children from Burma (by way of Thailand; did you know the average refugee family spends 10+ years in a refugee camp before possibly coming to another country?) we have been volunteering with for a year or so this morning, along with some other boys we volunteer with in South Atlanta. I love children so much. It is so refreshing to be with sweet, kind, giving people. It makes me feel good about humanity.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about topics important to conception after I realized I’ve confused a couple readers about whether I’m pregnant or not, and have been brainstorming about some topics that might be interesting to those interested in conception or early pregnancy. Here are some things I’d like to talk about over the next week or so:

  • Ovulation and how conception works
  • Ovulation tracking — to track or not to track?
  • What to do before trying to conceive
  • What you can do to help improve your chances of conceiving
  • What a male partner can do to help improve your chances of conceiving (and what’s really not that big of a deal)
  • Sperm-friendly lubricants, prenatal vitamins, and other product reviews
  • Sex as art
  • How to have a minimalist pregnancy, and baby

Are there any other topics you’d like to talk/learn about? Please let me know if so.

Hope you are all having a great weekend.

this is not a joke.

Um, blog readers. Are you here yet? Because I cannot believe what just happened and need you to join me in my shock.

I literally just posted my last post about this being the 41st day of waiting on my period to come when I walked away from my desk and to the restroom…and I’d started.

Not. Even. Kidding. How crazy is that?!? I literally did a double take and started kicking my feet back and forth like a child excited about the ice cream man or using the big girl potty for the first time or something. Then I texted hubby because ladies and gentleman, we are…

Open for Business

At least in a week or so.