valentine baby’s first ultrasound

Exciting news! We had our ultrasound today at what we’d been calling 7 weeks and 6 days. The ultrasound tech felt I am more like 7 weeks and 1 day along, and thus the approximate due date was revised…to Valentine’s Day!!! Such a sweet due date. The baby’s heart rate was great — 151 beats per minute — and the tech said everything looked great to her and that she saw nothing that would concern her at all. Hubby and I made the decision to share the news with our offices today, followed by our close friends and extended family…followed by (embarrassing, but painfully true) Facebook, as our final stop. (Well — mine, anyway. Hubby refuses to get on FB.)

Here are some photos of our little blueberry:




7 weeks (+ one day)

Hey baby…this week you are as a big as a blueberry:


The rate at which you are growing is incredible. Last night your dad and I flipped through the pictures on one of my new iPhone pregnancy apps and marveled at how much your size will increase over the next month. You go from being a tiny “dot” in my uterus to being the size of a lime just five weeks from now! That’s incredible and truly reminds me of how much a miracle you are.

Last Saturday your dad and I bought blueberries at the local farmer’s market down the street, where we buy our produce and some of our meat every week. All this week I’ve been adding blueberries to my cereal and he has been adding them to his smoothies. It’s made me wonder — what size blueberry are you? Are you one of the big, round, sweet ones, or are you still the size of one of the tiny, tart berries?

I’ve been feeling good this week, although a little more finicky about food than normal. Meat hasn’t appealed to me as much this week, and I am very sensitive to smell. I have had a ginger ale the past two mornings after arriving at work to help soothe the extra bit of gas and nausea in my tummy. I’ve started sleeping in a sports bra many nights, which has been much more comfortable for me. I hope you are comfortable in there too, and growing well.

In just a few days we will see you in an ultrasound. We are so excited. We’re also checking out a couple different practices and are thinking about delivering you somewhere else. I can’t wait to have our consultation with the first midwife group in just a couple weeks and hope we fall in love with them. The other doctor we are thinking about has only a 5-10% c-section rate, which already gives him points in my book. I hope your birth is as peaceful and powerful of an experience as possible, and I hope the transition into this world is smooth for you. Thank goodness we have lots of time to prepare.


Your mom and dad

our first doctor visit aka yes, we are really having a baby

Last night I tossed and turned like it was the night before Christmas. All I could think about was that the day of our first doctor’s visit was finally coming, and was it morning yet, and could I possibly start getting up to get ready??? Then sunlight, sweet, sweet sunlight…began to filter in the room. I was awake for a good fifteen minutes before our alarm went off, snuggling with the cats. I had even taken my usual morning shower the night before so my routine was a lot faster. I spent the time between waking up and arriving at the doctor’s office squawking, jumping up and down, asking hubby if he was “soooo” excited, and just in general being spaztastic.

So, my doctor delivers out of what is considered by many the best hospital for deliveries in the metro area. So it might come as a surprise to many that I am a little nervous about delivering out of there. The c-section rate, for one, is really high — hovering around 30% or so…but I think that may be common for any of the hospitals around here now. I also don’t think they’re very open to the idea of natural childbirth. Now don’t get me wrong…I think you have the right to have whateeeever kind of childbirth experience you want — and I am not saying I will never say I want an epidural, but at this point I am thinking I want to to try go it au naturel. Will they support that? I’m just not sure if that’s the vibe I get.

We arrive at the office and go to the first waiting room, where we sign in and are given a first trimester pregnancy journal. This already makes me nervous because I feel like (even though I have taken three home tests) nothing has been confirmed yet, and dammit, if you give me a journal then I will be even more sad if you tell me I’m not really pregnant!

Then we go to the second waiting room. I pee in a cup and fill out another form.

Then we go to a side room, my blood pressure is taken, and I am weighed. By the way, their scale always puts me a pound or two over what I weigh myself at home. Hrmph. But anyways…

Then we go to a third waiting room.

I am not kidding you. This is a baby factory, folks. By this point, hubby can’t really believe that we are in a third waiting room, and we are gawking at the sheer amount of items on the end tables and walls that were obviously put there by pharmaceutical salespeople (although I’m sure that’s common in just about any doctor’s office.)

Finally we are taken into an exam room, where a nurse starts flipping through a booklet of information for us, talking a million miles a minute. “Now this is the form you fill out and send to the hospital by 20 weeks so they can get you registered this is your Cliff’s Notes-like book for pregnancy this is your packet that shows you everything you can and cannot eat, take, do if you have questions about sex, exercise, diet just look in here and the doctor will be in soon.”

Whoa…what are we doing at today’s appointment? I ask.

A pelvic exam, she says, along with three other run-on sentences before running out of the exam room. I guess they want me to read through that book and not really ask them the questions I brought in? Sure feels like that, anyway. Also, no one has even said hello to my husband since we arrived.

The nurse leaves, and I put a cloth wrap around my now naked bottom half (this feels slightly awkward with my husband sitting in the chair next to me, although I do have a changing area.) Then we wait again, and we joke about how this is really the FOURTH waiting room, and how hubby should take his pants off and put a cloth around his bottom half for when the doctor walks in. That really cracks me up.


She’s here.

She is the one saving grace of this practice. She is friendly, and sincere, and shakes both of our hands and congratulates us. She’s the first person who has introduced herself to my husband or made him feel welcome all morning. I finally break in and ask the question I’ve been wanting to ask all morning as people have handed us booklets and talked about my due date (still estimated at February 9):

“Did you confirm it?”

“Oh, yes, yes, yes! You’re pregnant.”

She then goes through her spiel, and she definitely lets us ask questions, but the answers feel kind of stock. Like…they are open to natural childbirth, but “really don’t have many people wanting that anymore.” She also tells me they will let me go only seven days past my due date before inducing, and that they require continuous fetal monitoring. I also learn that she or one of the other eight doctors in the practice could deliver me, but that I won’t have an opportunity to meet the other docs, largely because many of them practice out of other locations.

I am then given a quick pelvic exam with hubby in the room (slightly awkward, but no biggie…most awkward part was when the nurse started explaining to me another pamphlet about genetic testing I can have done at 12 weeks and how if I want it I need to get preapproval from my insurance company now…all while the doc’s fingers are…well, you know.)

Doc says my uterus feels larger, like it should, but that it feels I may even be a little farther along than I originally thought. Now that would be interesting, although I can’t imagine it would be by much. We schedule my ultrasound for next Tuesday and she says we will know much more exactly then.

So now I have another day to look forward to…next Tuesday. Not too far away, I think, and I am happy for that. But I also start to wonder why this baby factory didn’t just schedule my first appointment around the first ultrasound? More visits=more money for them? I don’t want to sound jaded, but it seemed to me they are running a highly efficient business and that is their top priority.

We may be looking into another practice at another local hospital that seems to be more open to natural childbirth and less interventions. I think we will explore a midwife practice. We are not ready yet to say we are definitely making a switch but I will say we are highly likely to be exploring our options and then we will reassess again.

What were your experiences with a midwifery or a traditional hospital birth?Did any of you decide to switch providers after feeling like just a number on a form or a cow in a herd?

i can has monday?

I’ve never looked forward to a Monday in my life, but I’m looking forward to this one so very much. We have our first appointment at 8:30 am, and I hope all goes well. I would literally skip this weekend and go straight into the next work week if I could. I am so excited!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and Father’s Day. Talk to you Monday!

6 weeks

Hi, baby. This week you are as big as a lentil:

Week Six: Lentil

Your tiny little heart is beating now. How very neat, although that word is a sore understatement. Tiny dark spots are starting to form on you — these will become your eyes, ears, and nose. Your arm and leg buds are also just starting to sprout. Our tiny little sprout. We hope you are growing strong and healthy and can’t wait to learn more about you on Monday when we go to our first appointment with my doctor.

This week I have been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, having been very tired, constipated, and a bit uncomfortable. Last night I had a little meltdown and ended up crying for about ten minutes to your dad. I’m not really sure why. It’s not because I am unhappy — I am extremely happy and already love you very much, and I love your dad to pieces. I just feel different, and the hormones that are surging through my body coupled with my tiredness have given me a bit of an emotional ride.

I haven’t had any symptoms of nausea yet, and for that I am thankful. I hope it won’t kick in at all, but if it does I will accept it as graciously as I can and hope that everything just means you are growing stronger and getting exactly what it is that you need. I hope we can see you on Monday, but am not sure yet what the doctor has planned for that appointment. We sure have plenty of questions for her.

in memoriam: a publix sub

Ahh, Publix sub…how I miss you. Gone (for now) are the days when I would relish slowly each bite of your delicious, crunchy, tangy layers. I thought about you tonight when I was making dinner plans with my husband, who is driving back in town from a day-long, out-of-state business trip. We were looking for an easy dinner and I immediately thought of you. And then I realized that because I am pregnant I can’t have you. Not like I want you.

Publix sub

I want you cold, like I believe the best sandwiches are…on multigrain bread with spicy mustard, layer upon layer of turkey, cheese, tomatoes, green peppers, banana peppers, olives, onions, and pickles. I want you sprinkled with pepper and oregano.

I can’t wait to have you again next Spring. Goodbye until then.

the phenomenon of pregnant introspection

Ask me and I’ll say my hormones are just fine thankyouverymuch! But ask hubby, and you might get another answer. One day late last week I confessed to him while we were snuggling on our bed one day after work:

“I feel lonely.”

“Sweeetie! We’ve been together nonstop all week!”

It’s true, but I have still felt more lonely than normal, and undoubtedly more introspective. Something hormonal or mental in me is most definitely shifting. I asked one of my good (and very pregnant) friends if she also experienced this phenomenon, and I was (just a little) surprised to see that she had.

She told me that for her that feeling of introspection started similarly early on and has continued throughout pregnancy. She and I both agreed that while the first trimester fatigue may have played for her and is playing for me a large part in this feeling that we are not really connecting with others like we normally do, we both feel a definite introversion taking place. Early in her pregnancy, she found herself relaxing quietly on the couch while her family played games. I find myself slipping to the opposite end of our sofa with a book or a list of baby names. Hubby and I still talk a lot, and I am usually blabbing about something or another, but even when I am talking I feel mentally farther away than normal.

Like my friend and also hubby said, completely separately, tonight — she and I are probably feeling this way because we are focusing so much on the miracle that is occurring inside us, and no one can really understand precisely what we are feeling except for us. I guess that’s why I am also focusing so much now on keeping the lines of communication and love open with my hubby — I don’t want him to feel out and I want us to both be able to share how we feel and what we need from each other throughout this entire process.

Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon pregnant introspection?